What does a dirty sanchez and a rusty trombone have in common?

Apparently this week is funny names week

A dirty sanchez and a rusty trombone both involve a bum hole.

Dirty Sanchez: When someone "takes a dump (where? I dont know), takes their index finger, wipes, and streaks it across under someone's nose??? or their nose?

Rusty Trombone: When someone is licking a bum hole and doing a reach around for some play time!!!

9/13/10

Dutch Rutter/Rudder: When a man is holding his junk and the other person (dude or not..lol) jerks him off without physically touching his junk. ahhhhhhhhhh

What is a reach around???

As I was sitting at my desk, hard at work, a co-worker dropped by and proceeded to tell me a story about doing pain in the butt work for another and could not even get a reach around. Completely surprised, I asked what a reach around was and he said...

When you're getting it from behind and someone is reaching around you to strum the guitar...oh LA LA

is it true a woman has made up her mind within the first 2 minutes of meeting someone whether or not she would sleep with him/her?

Hanging out in a bar/club...

Women, girls, females, whatever they are called huddle in a circle and chitchat about the men, boys, males whatever in the club, bar. I'm 100% positive that they have already made their list of who they are attracted to, who they will go home with, and who might just get a hand job in the bathroom at the end of the night. Girls always get the pick of the litter (not sure how that saying goes)

Men, dudes, males, bros whatever stand against the wall with the best view of the huddling booty shaking femmes and secretly pick which girl they would like to talk to. I'm 100% positive they DO NOT discuss this with their "buddies". how do i know, b.c they all hit on you until you choose which one you want... just like picking out a puppy at the pet store. They never say things like "bros i'm calling that one" or make their mark. well i guess its better than peeing on us. anyway, so they are standing around. this dates back to ancient 5th grade times when the boys stand against the walls and girls dance in a circle with each other. They stare and stare and the first girl that pays attention to them, thats automatically the one that is going to get their leg humped. so they make their move.

if the guy is on his way over to talk to her, 1 of 2 things might happen. 1: she smiles and/or giggles at him which is a signal that its ok to talk to her. or 2: she rolls her eyes at him and tells her friends that he is a pervert for staring....

LAMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (thats my LMAO) I get a kick out of watching this, its so freaking funny. geez these poor dudes, damn these women!

Lets talk about the first option. so she giggles and invites you over, you've only made it half way. dudes can still blow it. AND AND AND usually they blow it within the first 2 minutes anyway. how do i know? well who the hell cares. normally a femme will go through at least 2 guys before finding the "right" one or "right one for that night" lol..hahhahhahaha damn i'm evil. within the first 2 minutes of your impression, they have already made up their mind whether they will sleep with you, or just give you a hand job in the bathroom because you bought them a drink....

dont screw it up.

am i right or am i right?

Who gave you the talk about "the birds and the bees"

NO ONE! a few months after i turned sixteen my sister says "are you on birth control " she just ASSUMED! how offensive! yea that went well. my mother still cant say the word sex around me and I have a four year old child! never mind the fact that my entire family is afraid of sex, there is always the one promiscuous relative that likes to share their sex stories and thats about as much a talk as I got from family.

what bothers me the most is if you aren't open with the idea of talking about sex, why do you think completely ignoring it is going to do any better. You'll end up with a pregnant 17 year old who doesn't even know how many entry/exit point there are. with that i vow that i will be completely open with my children about sex.

WAIT! IF YOUR FAMILY IS AFRAID SEX TALK...OF COURSE YOUR KIDS ARE AFRAID TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT! its all fact/logic/reason/ relevant. it doesn't help being from a family of self-righteous christians. My heart goes out to those teens. saving yourself for marriage is a load of crap b.c its far from likely to happen. so i have to marry. consummate it . divorce him. find another? thats sounds like a lot of work. which leads me to next weeks topic: "does it matter if he's well endowed?/ what makes a woman good in bed?"

Where to stick a pen1S

Well, I've gotten some strange requests to stick a penis. And I will at some point tell you where but I'd like to reflect on an episode of "Family Guy" where Lois decides to be the high schools Sex Ed Teacher and teaches about not having sex. And eventually the kids at school don't sex but have "ear sex". That was by far the most hilarious episode I've seen yet. But has anyone ever experienced "ear sex" and what exactly does that feel like... lol

Someone asked me to push my boobs together so he could have at it>! strange! All I can think is what the heck am I suppose to gain from this>? Then I thought back to when I was 8 and living in the bronx and a "friend" was telling me about "titty sex" and all I could think is "so thats where it goes.."

Places I've come up with:

Between two feet

Between Boobs

Cant forget hands

Armpits

Between your cheeks.. both of them

Post Comments on where to stick a pen1S please!

Salut and Welcome!

salut everyone! Welcome to Whilst Having Sex

I have great ideas that will be talked about from what sex was like at 16 to where to stick a pen15. FUN TOPICS! HILARIOUS and sometimes very informational. Every other day I'll tell you my experience or someone's story they told me. DONT WORRY I WONT NAME ANYONE! unless you want me too.... Mostly I'd like to read comments with your own experiences. So i know I'm not the only freak thinking about this stuff!

There will be "Fun Fact of the Week". it will be about sex, how to have better sex or about Polar Bears. Who the heck cares as long as you enjoy it! DONT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE COMMENTS, IT CAN BE ANNOYMOUS!

Email me ideas to talk about at lewis.danika@gmail.com.

This weeks topic is "things that go through your head whilst having sex.."

coming soon in the next few weeks...

• Where to stick a penis (or where i stuck my pen15)
• Sex at 16!
• If i had to have sex with an animal...
• Was i a slut in HighSchool? (that includes Man Slutters too!)
• Did someone just fart>?

Funniest thing you were thinking about...

... this ceiling is awfully low